Unschooling Lemonade

Too deep, too sensitive, too much.. I don't know but today's lemonade stand adventure brought up more than I can handle.

Growing up in México I never had a lemonade stand. Last night, my youngest son and I talked about a potential garage sale and a lemonade stand. Well, the garage sale didn't happen but I could not avoid the lemonade stand. 

What's coming up for me is that this is the second time around as my oldest son also had the idea of a lemonade stand a few years back. Both times I seem to have a tendency to want to include all of my life lessons and, inevitably, it changes the mood of the experience. 

In addition, today I felt the external gaze of much older adults whose own experience and expectations clashes with my insecurities leaving us all feeling insecure and putting that onto our children. Putting that onto my children. A good shake in my Unschooling journey. 

What's different this time is that I felt it coming. I FREAKING FEEL IT. The themes are about the external gaze, expectations, experiments, what's important to us and a few more ... This time I went upstairs to a safe space and shed the tears that I knew needed to come out while feeling the sadness of grief for the parent I once wanted to be. And having tender love for the parent that I have become. One that believes in partnership even though I struggle to stand up for myself sometimes. 

Without writing a whole book while on an emotional low I can say that this is one of my rings of expansion.

The discomfort and body sensations are real, raw and not permanent. 

I hope this post makes sense as it is not edited or proofread at all because I am in the thick of the emotions. This is my way of sharing with you that the work never ends, our days are not perfect and that nothing is permanent. 

Love yourself as you do the work. Today I remind myself of how much I have overcome and tears of gratitude are coming out. 

With love, 

Julieta